How to Wrangle Your Bridesmaids to Get Them to Help You

Bride and bridesmaids on street with balloons

Being a bridesmaid is a tremendously difficult role with many expectations placed upon it; unfortunately, meeting everyone’s needs and meeting all their demands may not always be achievable.

As important as it is to acknowledge their lives outside of your wedding, don’t forget that when it comes time for planning it’s also okay to ask for their assistance when needed!

1. Ask for Help

Bride and bridesmaids on street with balloonsWhen asking friends to be bridesmaids, elaborate proposals may seem necessary, but that doesn’t have to be the case. A small and thoughtful gesture like hosting a “whisper challenge,” where one person wears headphones while another whispers something and has to guess its contents through lip reading can work just as effectively and make for more memorable proposals.

As soon as your bridesmaids have joined your wedding party, make sure they know they’re important by sending a personal thank-you note for being part of it. Show that you care and appreciate their assistance throughout all aspects of planning–including when they may be busy leading their own lives!

If a bridesmaid seems discontent or distressed about your wedding, make an appointment to speak privately to her as it could be an indicator that they’re unhappy in their role or dealing with other difficulties.


2. Set Up a Get-Together

Being a bridesmaid can be hard work. Your friends will need to coordinate pre-wedding parties, answer queries about the venue, and help make the day of the wedding come together as smoothly as possible, all while managing their own lives and careers.

If your group of girls comes from various stages in your life, finding common ground may be challenging. Try setting up hangouts that will foster their relationships such as brunch dates and gifting them each a cute bridal mug or personalized picture frame to remind them how special they are to you.

Your group might benefit from pairing an outgoing bridesmaid with an engaging groomsman – though always remember that it’s your special day, so choose wisely and do what makes you happy.

3. Give Them a Task

Without clear discussions on what each bridesmaid will contribute, it may be hard to know exactly what you can expect of them. Luckily, there are numerous ways you can show your appreciation for their help.

Send each one of them a special note that expresses how much you cherish them all. This gesture will make each of them feel loved and valued – as well as serve as a great reminder of how much love there is between family members.

Bridesmaids play an essential role in helping the bride manage any stressful situations on her wedding day, which means dividing out tasks to ensure no single individual does too much of the work. For instance, if the bride needs assistance keeping her train straight as she walks down the aisle. Another excellent task would be greeting guests at reception and showing them to their seats.

4. Give Them a Break

chacuterie board with candlesWhen inviting friends and family members to be part of your wedding party, be upfront with them regarding both time and financial commitments. If a bestie cannot afford her bridesmaid dress or is unwilling to spend thousands on an extravagant bachelorette weekend getaway, it is respectful and considerate to let them know this information upfront.

If a friend is consistently undermining your wedding planning through poor behavior, you must have an honest dialogue with her about it. If necessary, dismiss her as a bridesmaid but be sure to do it in an amiable and considerate manner; let her know you understand if they need time off; tell them it would still be great having her join as an attendee anyway.

If you haven’t done so already, host a girl’s night in advance of your big day. Wine tasting with cheese pairings would make a wonderful way to thank your girlfriends for all of their hard work and support leading up to this momentous occasion.

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